dear blog,

its Christmas eve,
and i am looking at things in a completely different perspective. i feel like in a matter of five days i have completely transformed as a person. i suddenly have a great appreciation for my family, i am starting to realize what really matters, and i have decided i am going to start living my life in a totally different manner. as a new years resolution i am going to live my life freely, openly, and positively. i am going to let go and have fun, i am only going to worry about the things that truly matter and i am not going to waste my time on subjects and people that are only going to mess me up :) I'm ready to let the good times roll, because it's winter break ;)

There's always tomorrow

I've been pretty worried lately. I feel like i have alot of potential to make things right in my life and i simply don’t do anything about it. I’m worried about my future, i am worried that i am changing who i am as a person, or conforming in some way and i really am not fond of it. I feel like there is so many sides to my personality that I can’t keep up with them all and i am loosing who i am as a person, i don’t know me anymore and that is the worst feeling. I feel like I’m constantly waiting for something good to happen and things always remain the same. Things aren't awful, i am sure that’s a exaggeration but i am a person who thrives on excitement and things just seem to be average, and one life i dread living in the absolute average one. I want to learn something new, like how to play a instrument or take up a hobby.. Something that will be fresh and new in my life. I want to meet a new person, and find some inspiration, i seek change right now. I am truly annoyed by the average cooper city life and people. I'm in a negative mood, and i want to vent so there you go.

12/2/09

okay, so here's my thoughts. Latley i've just been tired and stressed. i have never cared or tried so hard in school in my life, and let me tell you it is draining me. In the morning it is physically painful for me to wake up, i literally beat my mom up when she tries to wake me up -.- on the plus, i might be getting my braces off very soon, and the holidays are comming up so thats always good :) I have been eating large amounts of food, and reading alot more than usual.. something is very odd. I'm in desperate need of a shopping trip, but since I'm currentley un-employed that isn't going to happen. I am dying for summer and its only winter. omg, this post sounds more like a list of complaints. I also have developed a unhealthy obsession with lady gaga, i am convinced i am her. I think latley my friends have been fairly good. i mean we have all been getting along exteremly well, with me atleast ;) I also really want a blackberry, ever since an unfourtunate inccident i have been blackberry-less, and i am suffering with a razor. I also cannot wait for the weekend, because for once..I have plans:) I am starting to get overthings a little more, but just barely. I have finally accepted, although i dont think this will last long. re-reading this i sound really superficial. I have also come to the conclusion that i am 100% content with who i am as a person, and i am not going to alter my personality FOR ANYONE, i like who i am and i dont care what anyone thinks..no matter how important you are to me. I am not a judgemental person what so ever, and i just wish the feelings would be reciprocated. I dont really have anything exciting to discuss, but i have thought's and that is all.

fashion inspired.

okay, so as i've mentioned in my previous post's i have many idols, the pictures below are my fashion inspirations 100%. i also went to see newmoon on wednesday it was pretty good, not as AMAZING as other people think, but it was okay. i am in love with taylor launter now, yes..he has captivated my heart just like everyother girl in american. I think that even though dakota fanning was in it for about ten minutes and had maybee two lines, she was still the best actress in the whole movie. oh and happy thanksgiving dolls! :)

You will hate that i never gave more to you than half of my heart.

Lately I've been feeling a little better, i mean last week i was feeling AWFUL so i guess it can only go up from there, right? we'll lately i cannot stop laughing because of my friends and even my family :O and that of course is making me feel better, i am dreading something, and I don't know exactly which day, and that wont make sense to you unless your one of my best friends, but it probably from the outside looking in may seem like it has no significance to me what so ever, but in reality, it really does.I have come to the conclusion that people are going to come and go no matter what, and you just cant stop them..really the only thing you can do is live your life, even if it hurt's and that is what i intend to do. On a brighter note, tonight is the dancing with the stars finale, and what may seem like a lame show to most it is actually a very important event on mon/tues nights in my family. I really, really, really, hope donny osmond wins. i like kelly osbourne also, but Let's face it she really sucks. Maya has way to much dancing experience and it really isn't fair to the other contestants, and although she is the best dancer, i REALLY hope she looses because, i'll be blunt, i really cannot stand her.
her face annoy's me and she is overly cocky, it frustrates me that she is always confident that she did a excellent job even if she did. so basically, i think the best choice is donny osmond, i love his perseverance, and his sense of humor and i really think he deserves to win, so i guess we will find out tonight?:)

my boyfriend

PRESEEEEEENT.

3rd post of the day.

writing in my blog's truly addicting. I want to visit the factory, go to woodstock, see warhols art posted around the world, and protest for peace. however, i came across these photos which really captured my love for the sixties and generations after so here, just for kicks!

my biggest inspiration.

for my school assignment, we had to write a research paper on our biggets inspiration, this person had to be a legend of some sort who made a impact on society. i did kurt donald cobain, the lead singer and guitarist of nirvana. words cannot express how much of a inspiration kurt cobain is to me, if i had not listened to his music, read his biographys, or listened to his recordings in which he expressed his views on art, music, and life.. i would not be the same person. there is something so incredibly fascinating about him. i have read his journals almost every one that is open to the public and they are all truly inspiring, and somewhat confusing..but that's why there so great, if that makes sense? :)

"I'd rather be hated for who i am than loved for who i'm not".

"I'd rather be dead than cool".

"It's better to burn out than fade away".

-Kurt cobain

My next biggest inspiration is the dynamic dueo that is the beautiful edie sedgwick and andy warhol. I have to say i have not always been a fan, i mean..i've always thought andy warhols art was incredible but i have never been so fascinated with there lives until my bestfriend sarah showed me the movie "Factory girl" with sienna miller, the movie was a absoute thumbs up! the story really portrays the harsh life that superstar it girl edie sedgwick faced. However she was beautiful and i am a huge fan. Andy warhol always truly inspires me because he is so akwardly alluring with his intricate mind that sees the world through art and beauty, i was on google one day bored randomly searching for images of edie sedgwick when i found this photographer from the sixties with rare photographs and i found this beauty to the right. i love how andy warhol looks adoringly at edie, it captures all that factory girl did. i love her and him an i find them bolth truly inspiring.

who am I?

my name is cassandra holly, i live in cooper city, florida. I am almost always theoretically speaking, and i view the world around me just like the movies. I am a very optimistic person, and even when my brain is telling me all hope is lost, my heart tells me otherwise. I have a extreme love for pop culture, and although that may seem to be one of the most superficial fields out there, it fascinates me. i am also fascinated by generations before me. i admire the legends such as, kurt cobain, edie sedgwick, andy warhol, marilyn monroe, john lennon.. just to name a few. I am not exactley sure who will read this blog but i'm just writing it mostly for me. music is another thing that really inspires me, although i currently dont play any instruments i hope to learn some day, i especially want to learn to play the piano with my feet, just like lady gaga. i also love fashion and if i was given 1million dollars i would probably blow it all on clothes, some of my fashion inspirations are; rachel bilson (my absouloute idol), shenae grimes, sienna miller, camilla belle, kristin calvalari, mischa barton, and megan fox. i stalk fashion sites such as the skinny website, gossip girl celebrity gossip, and perez hilton.. i always need to see what celebrities are wearing and when. i am the worst speller ever, so forgive me. i have a mouth full of opionions and alot to say so this blog is purely for that reason, so read? :) thanks.