dear blog,

its Christmas eve,
and i am looking at things in a completely different perspective. i feel like in a matter of five days i have completely transformed as a person. i suddenly have a great appreciation for my family, i am starting to realize what really matters, and i have decided i am going to start living my life in a totally different manner. as a new years resolution i am going to live my life freely, openly, and positively. i am going to let go and have fun, i am only going to worry about the things that truly matter and i am not going to waste my time on subjects and people that are only going to mess me up :) I'm ready to let the good times roll, because it's winter break ;)

There's always tomorrow

I've been pretty worried lately. I feel like i have alot of potential to make things right in my life and i simply don’t do anything about it. I’m worried about my future, i am worried that i am changing who i am as a person, or conforming in some way and i really am not fond of it. I feel like there is so many sides to my personality that I can’t keep up with them all and i am loosing who i am as a person, i don’t know me anymore and that is the worst feeling. I feel like I’m constantly waiting for something good to happen and things always remain the same. Things aren't awful, i am sure that’s a exaggeration but i am a person who thrives on excitement and things just seem to be average, and one life i dread living in the absolute average one. I want to learn something new, like how to play a instrument or take up a hobby.. Something that will be fresh and new in my life. I want to meet a new person, and find some inspiration, i seek change right now. I am truly annoyed by the average cooper city life and people. I'm in a negative mood, and i want to vent so there you go.

12/2/09

okay, so here's my thoughts. Latley i've just been tired and stressed. i have never cared or tried so hard in school in my life, and let me tell you it is draining me. In the morning it is physically painful for me to wake up, i literally beat my mom up when she tries to wake me up -.- on the plus, i might be getting my braces off very soon, and the holidays are comming up so thats always good :) I have been eating large amounts of food, and reading alot more than usual.. something is very odd. I'm in desperate need of a shopping trip, but since I'm currentley un-employed that isn't going to happen. I am dying for summer and its only winter. omg, this post sounds more like a list of complaints. I also have developed a unhealthy obsession with lady gaga, i am convinced i am her. I think latley my friends have been fairly good. i mean we have all been getting along exteremly well, with me atleast ;) I also really want a blackberry, ever since an unfourtunate inccident i have been blackberry-less, and i am suffering with a razor. I also cannot wait for the weekend, because for once..I have plans:) I am starting to get overthings a little more, but just barely. I have finally accepted, although i dont think this will last long. re-reading this i sound really superficial. I have also come to the conclusion that i am 100% content with who i am as a person, and i am not going to alter my personality FOR ANYONE, i like who i am and i dont care what anyone thinks..no matter how important you are to me. I am not a judgemental person what so ever, and i just wish the feelings would be reciprocated. I dont really have anything exciting to discuss, but i have thought's and that is all.